A Christmas Fire Sale: Two Businesses to Unwrap Before New Year’s

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🎄A Christmas Fire Sale: Two Businesses to Unwrap Before New Year’s

Forget the turtledoves. This year, we’re offering two high-growth brands, a men’s grooming line and a patented eco-CPG business; priced to sell before the ball drops.

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’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the market, not a creature was stirring…
except for two founders ready to make a deal.

We’re skipping the holiday fluff.

These are motivated sellers with valuable assets who want to close before year-end. That means aggressive pricing, fast timelines, and real opportunities for buyers who can move.

If your Christmas wish is a turnkey business with proven demand or a high-return investment with structural tailwinds, it’s time to start unwrapping.

🎁 HOLIDAY FIRE SALE #1

A Turnkey Men’s Grooming Brand That Just Needs a New Manager

Imagine finding a gift under the tree that’s almost perfect, but the batteries were put in backward.

This is a premium, 100% natural men’s body care brand with a rugged identity, a loyal customer base, and 130+ five-star reviews. The products work. The branding hits. Customers love it.

So what’s the problem?

The business is bleeding cash due to a simple but devastating operational mistake:
selling fees currently exceed revenue.

The owner is paying more to sell the product than they make.

This is not a demand issue. It’s not a product issue.
It’s a cost-structure issue — and it’s fixable.

📊 The Numbers (Jan–Nov):

• Revenue: $21,205

• Selling Fees: $21,875 (103% of revenue)

• Net Loss: –$28,172

The Immediate Fix:
Auditing merchant accounts or shifting sales toward DTC can reduce fees to a standard ~15%, unlocking ~$18,000 in immediate value without changing the product.

🛠️ The Opportunity:

This isn’t a long-term turnaround. It’s a quick win for an operator who knows e-commerce.

1. Stop the Bleeding
   Audit misconfigured Amazon FBA fees or payment processor categorization.

2. Optimize Ad Spend
   Reduce bloated 54% ad spend to a sustainable 25–30% by focusing on high-converting retargeting.

3. Scale
   Expand into boutique retail, launch beard-care SKUs, and build a subscription model.

This is a perfect stocking stuffer for an e-commerce operator who can spot a diamond in the rough.

The brand is built.
The demand is there.
It just needs someone to turn the lights on.

👉 Reply “UNWRAP ROYAL” for the full deck.

🎁 HOLIDAY FIRE SALE #2

The Gift That Keeps on Giving: A Patented, Profitable Eco-CPG Brand

This isn’t just a business, it’s an investment aligned with regulation, sustainability, and scale.

This is a patented, 100% biodegradable, compostable alternative to single-use plastic dog waste bags.

After a successful appearance on Shark Tank, the brand expanded into 2,000+ retail stores, including Target, PetSmart, and Walmart.

Now, with plastic bag bans and PFAS regulations accelerating nationwide, Pooch Paper is positioned to capture meaningful share of the $4B U.S. dog waste bag market.

The company is raising $500K for 15% equity to scale municipal and B2B distribution.

📊 The Numbers:

• Investment: $500K for 15% equity

• Projected ROI:

  • 271% by Year 3

  • 518% by Year 4

  • 867% by Year 5

• Proven Demand: Previously in 2,000+ retail doors

• IP Protection: Patented, PFAS-free paper solution

🚀 The Opportunity:

This is a ground-floor opportunity backed by clear regulatory tailwinds and an experienced founder (25-year Wall Street veteran).

1. Municipal Contracts
   Target 90,000+ U.S. municipalities responding to plastic bans.

2. B2B Bulk Sales
   Partner with multifamily and commercial property managers.

3. DTC Expansion
   Scale online sales to sustainability-focused consumers.

For investors seeking high-growth upside with ESG alignment, this is a rare combination of mission and math.

👉 Reply “UNWRAP POOCH” for the investor deck.

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These deals are moving faster than Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve.

We’re taking calls first-come, first-served and prioritizing buyers who can close before the New Year.

If you’re ready to make a move, reply with the deal you’d like to unwrap.

Happy Holidays,
The Acquire Weekly Team